so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I looked at my own cervix.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
