Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
