Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
