Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
