Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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