just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
