Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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