if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
