Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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