She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
