when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
