yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
