Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
