When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
