So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
