i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
