So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
