google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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