What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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