Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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