She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I need moral support for this bender
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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