He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
