I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just found puke in my bra..
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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