Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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