am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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