Got a toothbrush?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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