These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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