So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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