Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
