at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
