imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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