I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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