If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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