let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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