Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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