im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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