I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Randomize
