Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
