Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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