Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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