i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
