Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
