Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
