the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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