I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
