I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
