I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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