How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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