Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize