She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
