That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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