if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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