The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
