I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
