Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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