Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
