I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
