Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
