One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
