I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
