Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
