return my video game
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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