If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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